Fat as I am.
  Who wants to see a diva fat as I am?
  I get mistaken now for Lainie Kazan.
  How is it that I'm fat as I am?
    Fat as I am.
  The camera's gonna add a ton to my can.
  This is the way they say Godzilla began.
  How did I get as fat as I am?
    "Try it again."
  All of my friends say I should diet again;
  That all my fans are gonna riot again.
  "Look what happened to Liz."
    All of my sins
  are not as numerous as . . . all of my chins!
  I could audition for the doublemint twins.
  No one in the biz is as fat as I is.
    Ah, but what's a career
  when you put it next to knockwurst and beer?
  They could park a DC10 on my rear.
  God knows I got the gas!
    There goes the chair.
  But to tell the truth, I'm too fat to care!
  I ate a meatball off the floor right over there.
  Ah, you don't give a damn
  when you're fat as I am!