Gonna buy me a steel umbrella
   'Cause things ain't going too well
   I go to bed thinking I'm in heaven
   When I wake up I'm in hell
   Take my dog for his morning walk
   Shit am I glad he can't talk
   Sooner or later it all comes back to me
   You can bet on this
   If it can happen
   It'll happen to me (It'll happen to me)
   Every time it happens
   Why does it happen to me
   Gonna buy me some more insurance
   This asphalt surfin's getting to me
   Accidents are an everyday occurrence
   If there's a God, He's laughing at me
   Might as well be the invisible man
   See my footprints sinkin' in the quicksand
   Sooner or later it all comes back to me
   Bet on this
   If it can happen (It'll happen to me)
   Bet on this, if it can happen
   Everytime it happens
   Why does it happen to me
   Bet on this
   If it can happen (Buy me a steel umbrella)
   It'll happen to me
   Bet on this (No doubt in my mind)