I don't need no wheels
  I don't need no gasoline
  'Cause the wind that is blowing
  Is blowing like a smoke machine
    If I said to you
  That I was looking for a place to get to
  'Cause my neck is broken
  And my pants ain't getting no bigger
    I got a stolen wife
  And a rhinestone life
  And some good ol' boys
  I'm writing my will
  On a three dollar bill
  In the evening time
    All my friends
  Tell me something is getting together
  I got a beard that would disappear
  If I'm dressed in leather
  Now let me tell you about my baby
  She was born in Arizona
  Sitting in the jailhouse
  Trying to learn some good manners
    I got a stolen wife
  And a rhinestone life
  And some good ol' boys
  I'm writing my will
  On a three dollar bill
  In the evening time
    Matchsticks strike
  When I'm riding my bike to the depot
  'Cause everybody knows my name
  At the recreation center
  If I could only find a nickel
  I would pay myself off tonight
  'Cause nobody knows
  When he good times have passed out cold
    I got a stolen wife
  And a rhinestone life
  And some good ol' boys
  I'm writing my will
  On a three dollar bill
  In the evening time
    I got a stolen wife
  And a rhinestone life
  And some good ol' boys
  I'm writing my will
  On a three dollar bill
  In the evening time
    Don't talk to me
  If you're looking for somebody to cry on
  Don't talk to me
  If you're looking for somebody to cry on
    [scream] Ahhhowwww!!