You might be a celebrity-everybody sits up and begs
  You might be the sexiest thing since God invented legs
  You might be a dictator, a dealer or a saint
  Cool is here to tell you when you're cool and when you ain't
  If you lose your cool-if you lose your cool-if your cool don't work
  If your cool's gone fishin' you ain't nothing but a cool jerk
  
  Now you might be a nazi-lookin' for a friend
  You might be a beginning- looking for an end
  Some folks go for the ice and snow-some like it Florida hot
  Cool is here to tell you what is cool and what is not
  
  You can write a book about the money you took
  You and pose on the cover nude
  You can flip on an ego trip-time'll do the cover on you
  But don't you ever cross me dude
  'Cos that ain't cool, that's an attitude
  
  You might be a macho man
  Do 50 million sit-ups a day
  You might be an expert, with something important to say
  You might be an evangelist-livin' on the wages of sin
  Cool is here to tell you what is out and what is in